Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where one person seeks to exert control over another by undermining their sense of reality, memory, or self-worth.
The gaslighter employs tactics to make the victim doubt their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, ultimately fostering a state of confusion and dependency.
Examples:
1. Denying the Reality: A classic example of gaslighting is when the abuser denies something they said or did, making the victim question their memory. For instance,
“I never said that; you must be imagining things.”
2. Shifting Blame: Gaslighters often deflect responsibility for their actions, making the victim feel guilty or responsible for the problems in the relationship. They might say,
“You’re too sensitive; it’s your fault I get angry.”
3. Withholding Information: Gaslighters may deliberately withhold information to keep the victim in the dark. For instance, they might say,
“You don’t need to know about that; it’s not important.”
4. Projecting Insecurities: Gaslighters project their own flaws onto the victim, making them feel inadequate or unworthy. For example,
“You’re the one who’s always overreacting; there’s something wrong with you.”
5. Undermining Confidence: Gaslighters erode the victim’s self-esteem by trivializing their achievements or abilities. They might say,
“Anyone could have done that; you’re not as special as you think.”
6. Twisting Reality: Gaslighters distort facts and events, making the victim question their perception of reality.
“That didn’t happen the way you remember it; you’re imagining things.”